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Three part assertion message to get what you want

Three part assertion message to get what you want
Do you want to be more assertive when responding to someone who has done something that upset you?
Being assertive doesn't mean aggressive. It means you are letting the other person know what you want, without blame or confrontation.
Here's how to do it:
1. Describe the specific behaviour that upset you and how it made you feel
"When you..................... I felt........................."
2. State what you need - be specific
"I would like.................."
3. Outline the benefit for the other person so that you get buy in from them
"So that................"
Here's a work example:
When you are late for meetings
I feel frustrated because I have to repeat information
I would like you to be on time
So that you get the information you need to do the job
Here's a home example:
When you don't do the dishes
I feel angry because it adds to my workload
I would like you to do the dishes after dinner
So that I don't get angry and yell at you

Posted: Thu 16 Dec 2021

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